Tuesday, December 23, 2008

I took Kat in the pooper

I won the Karaoke prize by singing both sides of Ozzy Osbourne and Lita Ford's "If I Close My Eyes Forever"...there were a lot of mid-thirty's suburbanite judges. They saw my effort and the PURE ROCK flowing through my veins. Fuck Yeah.

Tuesday, December 16, 2008

The night I got ASS-FUCKED by the Karaoke guy...

Alright. So, guess what part I played this evening? The part of random chic at a private party for work, who gets pissed cuz she can't show off to her full potential. That's not a good role, by the way. That's the kind of person who is uber-annoying... following the karaoke host around like a stalker. That was me.

But I will tell you why it was me & then you won't hate me so much. Normally, I give a shit about karaoke. And, until TODAY, I didn't give a shit about this karaoke night either. But, after getting stoned & really vibing out on Saturday, I found a song I wanted to do... a CLASSIC. The type of song I would never do normally. And I decided I would sing this. Because 1. people would know it and 2. it'd for sure be in the book.

Guess what? It wasn't in the book. Bummer. I asked to be positive - they can download stuff; I mean it's past the nineties. So "assistant boy" tells me that they got it. They got the song - Sah-WEET!!! I pull out my extra tambourines, I rewrote some of the lyrics to be funny. There's a good thirty minutes before I go up... right in the prime time. I'm set. I'm gonna WIN the prize for sure! Two songs before I'm up... douchebag informs me they actually couldn't find the song. uh... WHAT? It's cool if you couldn't get it, but you were basically lying to me for forty minutes? And this whole time I've been prepping people for some amazing show I've planned... and now - that's all DESTROYED??? Needless to say - I'm pissed.

So, I spend too long following around the poor karaoke chic & trying to pick a song. I end up choosing something I used to rock back in the day & in this current day - I don't really remember. Ugh. I really hurt my chances now. Thank god I laid down a mean version of "Baby Got Back" earlier in the evening....

So, we'll see, folks. The odds are good that I at least took one of the three prizes. But had I been able to unload my AMAZING, personalized version of "Long Train Running" - I would have been sporting the Grand Prize Tiara for SHIZ. xokat

Saturday, December 6, 2008

Go VOLS!!! Regardless of how bad you SUCK!

As I prep mentally for the humiliation that is to come... at least I know I have a nice ass. I mean seriously - I am about to take a shower & suit up in all SORTS of Tennessee gear and then walk the walk into Big Wang's North Hollywood to watch the SEC Championship game. We're 3-5 in the conference this year... 5-7 over all. Shit. I even painted my fingernails UT orange. If you know anything about college sports... UT orange is the most offensive color in existence.

I've got it all! The repulsive just-lighter-than-hunter-orange Tennessee hat. The camouflaged for shootin' Tennessee tee. The "Smokey for President" hoody (do you spell it with an ie if you're a girl?). I even have real, Tri-City crafted FISHING LURE EARRINGS! And I know the fight song... Oh I KNOW Rocky Top! And don't think for a second, when Bama is SCHOOLIN' the fuck outta the Gators (please god!) I won't be singing it all the way to the end zone!

Once I had a girl on Rocky Top
Half bear the other half Kat (that's me!)
Wild as a mink but sweet as soda pop
I still dream about that!

Fair Weather Fan I am NOT!
SEC til I die!
V-O-L-S go VOLS GO!!! xokat

Friday, November 21, 2008

Dog Chaser

I just chased a dog who doesn't respond to her name down Miami residential streets for the past hour. Yelling her name in rapid succession the entire way wasn't enough to make me look like a complete douchebag... the fact that I was dripping sweat, in a full sprint, and repeatedly recovering my camoflauge UT hat that kept flying backwards off my head cuz I didn't have a coherent moment to tighten the strap... these all added to my glory. Finally the time came. We got her on lock down - me and two other dog-owners. She came to me. Tail between legs. Eyes big and watery. I woulda used the F-word, but she isnt' my dog. xokat

Thursday, November 20, 2008

Club CLOSER!!!

I'm really stoked about this... I live in LA. In LA, clubs close at 2AM... sure, if you're P-Diddy or work at the Playboy Mansion, there might be after-parties for you. In general, bars stop serving alcohol at 2AM, therefore, LA shuts down at 2AM. (late night eateries that serve food which will soon be regurgitated not included) Well... my friends... guess where I was tonight?? And don't say New York!! Hecks no! My fine ass was in Miami!!! And guess who, at 4:20 (happy bday Char), asked what time it was from a new safe buddy we acquired on the dance floor called Kevin?? Me. And guess what time it happened to be when I asked him what time it was...?? 4:20. There and then - I knew Su and I were destined for greatness! No way shall I be partying in Miami, where the clubs stay open til 5, and not close the shite down!!! Although our feet were considered crippled in some cultures (the shoe choices were "made in vain", if you know what I mean), we fought on. The lights came up at five 'til and I felt amazing... I did it. Me. A lame, laid-back "LA" girl waved goodbye to her Miami minions... ponytail frizzed, knees wobbling, clothes stretched out from sweat. Su by my side (world's best SoFlo dancing wingwoman). It's official & it's current. I'm going to bed now. I love you all in SoCal... next additional rental to add to the list of residencies - South Beach. xokat

Tuesday, November 11, 2008

And Patrick!!!

Patrick! We forgot in that first blog to thank PATRICK POSTA - our uber-hot photographer... all the still pics on the site were shot by this man! www.patrickposta.com xoSBB

Monday, November 10, 2008

Actually Retarded?

Yeah so I just got news today that the MRI of my brain came back normal. Last month my Doc said my liver and kidneys are in perfect condition...I find this all a little hard to believe. My family was quite shocked. I guess this means there is more shenanigans on the way!!! WooHoo! ALL GOOD HERE! No damage done!

Sunday, November 9, 2008

You might be a redneck if...

You're Kat. I am in Tennessee... Blue Collar Tour blaring in the background... sporting my new fishing lewer earrings... hearing gossip about relatives I never knew I had... and desperately trying my dangdest to pull anything off the dirty seeds in this clogged-ass bowl... :D

Wednesday, November 5, 2008

We be Brawlin'!

You know you're cool when you have a blog. Distributive principal says we're cool, then. We have a blog. Welcome to the ShortBus Bunnies blog. We picked GREEN as our layout color because the color GREEN represents a lot of things we like. There will be lots of crazy times to be had at this blog... ("in" this blog? with this blog? we're so new... hook us up if you know the proper terms-nology)

We worship you all & are SUPER STOKED to have this site LAUNCHED!!! Welcome to the ShortBus, Hotties! xoxo from SBB (Char n Kat)

ps. thanks to everyone... Greg, Dan, RJ, Jeff, Derek the fam's & friends, etc!